Life
Life’s Too Short for Long Lists
New Year's Resolution List
Put down the pen. You. The one writing down your New Year’s Resolutions. Top Ten Things I Want to Change. How I Will Make This Year Better Than 2010.
When you write this list each year, how does it make you feel? Does it make you feel all warm & fuzzy inside, like the first bite into a dark chocolate and peanut butter confection? Does it release your anxieties, put your fears to rest and make you feel monumentally grand about yourself? If so, then fabulous. Stop reading and frame that beautiful List for all to see & envy as you go about successfully accomplishing each goal with grandeur and grace.
If that’s not you, then please, continue reading.
Do you instead find yourself wanting to cross out #4 because it sounds too lame for a List of such importance that you always capitalize this List?
Do you hesitate before penning #3 because what if -gasp!- you don’t reach that goal? Then maybe you find yourself rationalizing that instead of writing “lose 25 pounds by Jenna’s wedding” it would be more realistic to write “feel better about myself in jeans” and then realize that’s too hard to measure since you could feel like Natalie Portman one day and then bloated & blimpy the next, so maybe instead you should write “eat a piece of fruit, real fruit, not fruit bits in a scone or a pie, but real fruit, once a week.” Yes, that’s what you settle on for #3.
And then you erase it because it sounds lamer than #4 was going to be.
Oh, the silly things we do for this List. The one that helps us feel grounded, sane, as if having this List will lead to our rebirth and fairies and unicorns will all come dancing if we complete our mission.
I don’t have a List. I haven’t for a while.
Oh I have goals, and wants, and needs. I make a lot of lists, every day. I’m a List Maker, with a capital L.M. Just not THE List.
Life’s too short for long lists. Especially those that come with inevitable feelings of failure and moments of stress. I despise stress. I will do everything in my power to cut stress out of my life, and in my 30-some years, I think I’m getting pretty good at it.
The List = Big Stress for me. So I just don’t.
Do you?
Marvelous Mistake Monday: Entrepreneurs & “Real” Vacations
If you are a fellow entrepreneur, answer this: when was the last REAL vacation that you took? Now I know everyone’s definition of vacation is different, but in my mind a vacation is more than just a long weekend trip, it’s at least a week, preferably two. It is NOT a staycation. A vacation is definitely not going out of town for a conference, no matter how many evening parties are involved. I personally think it’s fine if you work a little on vacation, but that’s because I get it: it’s not a job that you are escaping, it’s a full-blown business that you are running and taking time away from.
That’s where I have found a lot of the lack of understanding lies between my W-2 friends and my fellow business owners: when you’re in a job, you take a vacation away from your boss, your responsibilities, your annoying co-workers, and you can actually, truly, walk away and business as usual goes on without you (even if you don’t think your boss could possibly live without you). When you are an entrepreneur, you’re not just stepping away from “the office” for a week or two – you’re the mama or the papa who is leaving your business baby behind in the hands of someone other than yourself, or, in no one’s hands. You may be away, but you are still ultimately responsible for EVERY facet of operation that occurs – or doesn’t occur – in your absence.
For many of us solo practitioners, time away means money lost. As much as we may plan ahead, we still can’t allot for the lack of business that doesn’t happen while we’re away. In today’s economy, that’s not just a hard thing to ask of someone: that’s potentially a life or death decision for a business.
And so we work. And work. And work. We love it! We achieve work/life balance through our ability to choose our work hours and take mini breaks throughout the week. But we seem a little crazy to W-2ers. Your W-2 pals probably tell you that you work too hard, you work too much, and why don’t you just take a vacation? You need one, buddy! As if it were the easiest thing in the world to do…
{A photo my hubby took of me at a DC airport wine bar en route to Switzerland for vacation in 2009, with my Blackberry, netbook & iPod.}
Here are some vacation prep suggestions I know have worked for me in the past to make it easier to take time away:
* Plan well in advance and hire & train appropriate staff for your leave.
* Prepare your lawyers, bookkeepers and accountants for your leave. Make sure they apprise you of, and you handle, any potential financial or legal issues in advance.
* Develop training manuals with policies, procedures, contact lists, etc. even if you’re the only person in the company, so that you can pass along the info to someone “just in case” while you are gone.
* Prepare your clients well in advance for your leave, so that nobody feels left out to dry while you’re gone.
* Outline clear instructions in your auto response email and your outgoing voice mail message so that clients know exactly where, how and when to contact you as needed during your leave.
I’ll be honest: those suggestions I actually enacted for past vacations? The thought of doing all that stresses me out more right now.
This post stems from a conversation with one of my dearest friends. We were talking about Thanksgiving and I had mentioned I was looking forward to taking a couple of days off. She countered, unconvinced, “But, are you REALLY taking time off?” To which I totally lied and replied “Yes, really!” Of course, I meant it at the time. But now, as I see the pile of work before me during this crazy busy holiday season, I am both excited and thrilled at the thought of tackling it all (because it’s WHY I went into business for myself), and I’m realizing that indeed, I will be doing a little bit of work during the holidays. And you know what? I’m ok with that. I chose this path for a reason. It’s not for everyone, and not everyone gets it, but that’s ok.
Soon enough, my family will have our traditional, W-2-like vacation. We have at least a couple of weeks planned for next year, and I have several months to plan ahead for that.
What about you? How do you manage vacations if you are a solo entrepreneur? What constitutes a “real” vacation for you?
Messed Up Monday: End Employment Discrimination Now
I had a ridiculously terrible weekend, and I’m a wee bit cranky. The onslaught of poorly made political ads are only adding to my crankiness, so instead of sharing one of my personal business mistakes for Marvelous Mistake Monday, I’m doing a special edition Messed Up Monday about an issue that also makes me cranky: Employment Discrimination.
Today is National Coming Out Day and according to the Human Rights Campaign, you can still be fired from your job in 29 states for being lesbian, gay or bisexual and in 38 states for being transgender. I am sickened to know that there are thousands of hard working, intelligent, moral, ethical, loyal, outstanding American citizens out there either not gaining employment, not being promoted, or being fired simply because of their sexual orientation or gender identity. In this day and age it is absolutely ludicrous to me that employers and managers still have the right to discriminate legally against anyone. The Employment Non-Discrimination Act would help end workplace discrimination against people based on sexual orientation or gender identity. Click here to learn more about ENDA and lend your support toward a more equal working America.
So tell me: why are there so many ignorant Americans still under the belief that someone who is gay, bisexual, lesbian or transgender is anything less than perfectly, beautifully human? Why are there so many ridiculously fearful Americans out there who are under the insanely stupid belief that someone who is gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender will somehow disrupt or harm the workplace? Why are there so many arrogant Americans out there who still believe that they are more deserving of work or even better workers over someone of a different sexual orientation or gender identity?
I’m just not clear on how someone’s sexual orientation or gender identity has anything to do with their work ethic, loyalty, intelligence, or commitment. Fire someone because they’re completely incompetent or not meeting deadlines. Promote those who do the best job. Hire the people who will help your company grow because they are the best at what they do. Sexual and gender identity should not play a role in those decisions. Employers and hiring managers should be legally bound to non-discriminatory hiring and firing practices. The fact that they are not yet across the board makes no sense to me.
So come on out for equality in the workplace on this National Coming Out Day, whether you’re gay, straight or transgender. We can never Be All We Can Be in the global economy if hatred, ignorance and bias are strong in the heart of American business.
